This is a story I wrote as my mid-term examination essay last year. Despite some unsmoothness of sentences and maybe a little grammatical mistakes, I think it's pretty good, juvenilely (well, it earned me some good marks), and it's actually my first successful attempt in writing a love story. With little parts editted, here goes:

 

My heart was beating fast as I approached the door. What if she was not what I expected? What if she had changed so much that I cannot recognise her? What if I fall for her again?

 

This is supposed to be an old-friend reunion, I told myself. I started thinking of the olden days...

 

She was a new student in school. She had to switch to this school because her father was bringing the family here. I never knew what was her father's occupation because she never told and I never asked. But my guess is her father moved here due to his job.

 

Coming back to topic, she was a new student in school and she was all pretty, smart and funny-- the girl that every guy in school wanted. But I did not notice her 'existance' until she approached me one day. She said the usual 'hi, nice to meet you,' and offered the common handshake that you do when you want to know someone new. That was the first time I saw her so mear, and like what my friends said, she was pretty. Long hair with natural curls, big brown eyes surrounded by long, curved eyelashes, fine nose, thin lips, ans perfect teeth-- but somehow I was not attracted to her-- at least not her appearance. I began to think about her only after a couple of chitchat and hangouts. She was a nice person, sweet and polite, and I could tell that she liked me. So slowly, our relationship developed into more than just friends. And here came the heart-shattering part: after just one semester, she was moving again. Her father was bringing the family to somewhere else-- somewhere far. And she ended the relationship. Her reason was she thought a long-distance relationship would be hard for the both of us, and she thought I could find a better person. But, no, I did not. I was 'single and avaible' for a whole year.

 

Now she was back. It was holiday and she decided to come back, to see me. I stumbled in front of the restaurant door, took a deep breath, and entered. She said she would be obvious, because she was wearing orange. And she was the only 'orange' one in the restaurant.

 

I sat down and she was a little startled. But I could see a little exhilaration on her face, and I knew why: I came alone-- so she still liked me. I ordered a drink and after that, there was an awkward silence. We were looking into each other's eyes and just that. It was happening again-- her eyes were hypnotising me. I pulled away from her gaze and started to ask questions. She answered me and asked me, and vice versa. We both could tell the awkwardness of this.

 

Then she asked 'the' question: 'Are you single? No girlfriends around?' And I told her 'yes'. She was obviously getting excited. I was not going to and did not need to ask her back. She just could not help but spilled the truth out: she was single too. I was not going to let her start the 'let's be together again' conversation.

 

'Look,' I said. 'You know you are always on the run, and I'm always going to be here. You can't just be with me for a period of time and leave, then come back and do it all over again-- it's just not what a relationship

should be. Let's stay friends.'

 

Her smile wa fading, but she managed to pull it up again. 'Yeah, friends...' she said. I knew she was heart-broken, so was I. I fell for her again, but I needed to stay focus. And I did. I liked her, but not her way of living. I just could not accept a person who always 'runs away'.

 

People have to grow up, and I am sure I will. I will not forget her, but I will not be her 'toy' either. I am sure I will find someone else in my life.

 

[Teacher's remark: An interesting story with some effective personal insights.]

I've made up my mind after a few days of testing and using and observing a new site for blogs (xanga) recommended by my friend. I find the site quite a linient website, and the tools are simple enough to use. I like the way things are arranged, the color scheme I spent quite some time matching, and the atmosphere it brings. And I've decided to keep it.

So what am I going to do about this? Right, I've thought about that and I am keeping this one too, and make it a blog of a theme. Since this has a book list going on already, I've decided to make this site my blog for my silly little short stories. I've always been writing short stories (inconsistently, i mgiht add), and I think this site would be the perfect place for me to post them up. But I think I won't be updating it as soon as I've been doing, since, as I've said, all I post up here is just short stories of irregular lengths, and I need time and effort and moe importantly inspirations to write them.

The new site will function as this site used to, and so it'll be accessed more. Stay tuned over there for more, if anyone cares at all. The address is: www.xanga.com/kingofblur; nice and simple, though I personally think this is nicer and simpler. 

Something funny about today's experiment during Biology class: I think my fish is one of the only two surviving experiment specimens.

We were supposed to do two experiments today, namely observing the blood circulation of the tail of a fish and observing two animals' heart (chicken and fish). But we hadn't enough time, since my classmates are 37 wild amateurs (though we are in Form 5 already) when it comes to experiments, so we only did one. Well, should I say, one and a half? We watched the blood vessels, then dissected the fish to watch the heart. I don't know about other teams, but actually my team dissected and watched the chicken heart too.

This time, the Duck was not in my team, and I proved to myself that I don't need him to have successful results for experiments. I was the 'artist' for my team, to draw all the diagrams and then label them. I've finished them, and tomorrow I need to bring it to school for the rest of the team-- and maybe the whole class too-- to copy.

Coming back about the experiment, my team's fish, which, acording to "Everyone's Favourite Blogger', is Jessica Simpson, was actually the biggest fish in the class, and my team actually had problem immobilising it. The teacher put in the biggest piece of chloroform for us and still it took sometime to work. At one point, one of my teammates even got so pissed off that he straight away grabbed Jess out of its container and put it under the microscope. And the good result I got was actually from that wild attempt. Well, sometimes, the dumbest idiot can do something right.

Because of the strong-willed Jess's refusal to be anesthetised, we didn't have enough time to dissect it to watch its heart pump (I think my team was the last to get a result for observing the fish tail). But while we were waiting for it to be tranquilised, we dissected the chicken heart. It was the violently impatient guy who did it, and while he later did something right, he did something wrong before. The chicken heart, after his 'brilliant' dissection, didn't even look like a heart. I could hardly identify the parts, but the 'smart-ical' me still managed (notice that I'm smart enough to use smart-ical). I digressed. Coming back to what I was saying, we didn't have time to dissect Jess, and the teammate that bought the fish looked like he didn't want us to dissect it also I think. So we ended watching other teams dissect their fishes. Thanks to the 'oh-so-sharp' scalpels, the skin of the fishes won't even split when the scalpels were pressed so hard against it. The classmates doing the operation looked like psycho animal killer trying desperately  to kill the invincible fishes with the bluntest of tools. One of them got so impatient that he decided to abandon the scalpel and just tear the fish apart. Yucks, all the yummy juices being exposed, staining his cruel hands of which fingers looked like claws of a devil just finished killing the most innocent of people. Many classmates were surrounding him while he was doing the dirty job, some wanting and longing to help and do it along, and others just to watch the fascinating scene (I was one of them). Then he half-cut-half-pulled out the guts and I didn't see the heart anywhere, just red appetising-looking juices and dark-red pieces of organs.

Meanwhile, the Duck was performing another similar operation which then had good results. It was actually pregnant, with large amount of eggs in its tiny body. No wonder fish's guts are so small-- to leave space for eggs when it gets pregnant. But that not the point.

I was surprised by the size of the fish's (was it Winkie?) heart. It was still pumping dyingly weak. It's a miracle that fishes can survive with such small hearts (kecil hati betul...). According to my elder brother, fish has only one circulation, that is: the heart pumps, the blood flows to the gills and get oxegenated, then flows to all parts of the body right away before going back to heart for the circulation cycle to be repeated again. Cool!

And one more funny thing: My mom decided to cook fish today. *raise eyebrow* After a long day of tormenting fishes and watching others killing them by splitting it up in the middle from the bottom, I had to have fish for lunch and dinner? Luckily I'm not one of those who had never seen fishes being slaughtered alive, or else, I'd be so traumatic that I might build a grave for the dead fishes and mourn for them and swear to never eat fish again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that school has started, I would seldom blog...

 

3 days of school are over now, and I finally get to use the computer long enough for me to write a post. These 3 days of school-- I wouldn't call it a week, because it's not?-- sucked. Or should I say, I sucked in these 3 days of school? This is the most unprepared-for-school year for me. I could still remember daydreaming and thinking, 'the holidays were like a very loooong weekend, and it ended already, faster than I thought, and it's "Monday" again,' on Wednesday; until today, I still haven't the whole set of textbooks (and the bookshops are running out of stock), and I hardly prepared enough single-lined exercise books and any small-squared ones at all; I was reluctant to listen to what teachers had to say on the first day, and to start any work (school- and homework) on the second day. But the good thing is, I am starting to focus already on the third day. That is the shortest time I took to re-focus myself into school after holidays. I used to take around a couple of weeks to concentrate again at school for the past years, the last week of the holidays and the first week of school.

 

This year, I'd try to organise myself and my time and schoolwork-- that is another resolution. I would try to pay FULL attention in class, finish my homework on time, study ahead of lessons, fulfil the duties for all the postions I hold for my co-curricular, and be active in sports. I seriously need the full attendance for ALL of my clubs, especially the Badminton Club, because I hadn't really been active in it for the past four years. Good news: the President of the club is a good friend of mine, which means, I can get some advantages out of him (somehow). The headmistress gave every student the school's diary this year, which makes organising myself and my time and my clubs much more easier. When I want to set a date for something, I can just refer to the paper to check if the school has any activities on that day. Oh, this year, I think I want to give Cross Country a try, as in really run and race to get SOME prize. But I heard this year we need to 'climb' too. I just hope it won't be too hard.

 

This year so far is okay-- though school sucked a little-- but I'm sure as it passes, rapidly reaching year end before you and I know it, it would be very stressful. After all, this is 'the key year' of my education and my future and basically my life. I do bad, I die; I do good, a bright, clear future is not guaranteed, but at least I'd have some hopes. Equation: key year equals to killer year.

 

But last year was good. 2006 was a year of joy and enjoyment and breakthroughs and achievements. I don't know about others, but I achieved quite a number of things, and fame (despite a little notoreity). I think more teachers and even students know me now than at the begginning of last year. To list out some, I made a book (despite it has a Big flaw, and my studies deteriorated), I sang in public, I stripped in public, I mustered courage to fix my teeth, I proved to myself that I'm not bad of a leader, I knew and bonded with a bunch of insanely optimistic and ever-laughing friends, and I got busted for breaking a huge school law (fortunately, no record was made). Whoops, the last one is NOT an achievement.

 

I made a book. That is defnitely the biggest accomplishment. I sacrificed my time, my 'brain juice', partial of my relationship with my friends and classmates, my commitment to my clubs, and even my studies just for the Editorial Board. Sacrificing my creativity, my social life, and the others is still okay (maybe sacrificing studies is not so okay?), but my time, that was the most precious thing. I definitely sacrificed almost my whole year for the book. Not only did I spent parts of my lessons in class (which is nothing to be proud of and everything to not be followed), but also my free time and sleep time even for weekends, let alone weekdays, just to complete it. See how commited I was. Turned out: the La Sallian 2006 Magazine is the most fabulous La Sallian magazine of all time! Phew! It was a massive relief!

 

I sang in public, I stripped in public, I mustered courage to fix my teeth, I proved to myself that I'm not bad of a leader. These are all overcomes of fears. I always have stage fright and I shake when I make a speech to a crowd, let alone singing. But I still did it. It wasn't the best performance by me, but it was okay. Speaking/singing in public/to a crowd is not so bad after all. I will still shiver when I do these in public with everyone looking at me, but at least now I can be conscious and clear of what I'm doing, unlike last times, where I'd have no idea what I was babling and just said whatever that crossed my mind. Now my dream of hosting and being a TV personailty has hope. As for the last part of the statement, at the starting of this paragraph, it is pretty much the same thing: overcoming stage fright. I had to do a presentation for EST and I was the head of my group, and I led my team members well. My stage fright was so high that I was afraid to even speak up and speak out my points to my team members. But I forced myself to do it. People elected me as the head, and I must do my best for them. And it turned out that my team's presentation was one of the couple of presentations that scored the highest. Good for me. Now my dream of hosting and being a TV personality is really having hope.

 

Now the last part. I knew and bonded with a bunch of insanely optimistic and ever-laughing friends. Although I spent most time in making the school magazine, I had tiny bits of time to mingle with my classmates and friends, especially the newbies of the class. The people I mainly bonded with are (notice that this is one of the few times I mention names): William Soh Yew Chong, Adrian Choo Teck Aun, Luvain, Marcus Tay Tze Liang, Koh Keik Wee, and of course Lim Kok Hooi (ever since Form 1). The other people that I got along with are: Ainsley Ng, Calvin Teh, Chew, Eric, Jake and et cetera (sorry if your name is not listed, because I'm forgetful. I can only think of certain things when I come across them or things related to them). These people are great people, and they have different 'functions':

 

William Soh: I call him Soh. I'm trying to change to William, but it somehow sounds weird and I always revert back to Soh. He is basically 'shameless' on the outside. He does all sorts of exaggerated actions and gestures without caring if people are staring. He is more imaginative than I am, and he dares to release it, unlike me, who keeps most of it hidden because people wouldn't understand and think I'm weird when I tell them my imaginations. He is one of the important factors of my overcome of fears.

 

Adrian Choo: I call him Choo. He doesn't mind, I think. His English is brilliant. We share some same interests. We read, we write (sometimes), we want to improve our English, we have these impossible dreams and non-existant plans, and we like to gossip. We like to watch and listen and observe people and pick at their mistakes or actions then laugh among ourselves. Talking to him can sometimes seem, um, different, because he always suddenly uses words that I don't know or that I wouldn't expect anyone but the weird me to use. It's actually a good thing to get to hear those words and not just speak them-- and then usually be asked 'what's the meaning?' because not many people would know or use those words-- because the impression of the words would be deeper when heard.

 

Luvain: He is the one that I converse least compared to the above two. As far as I know him, we have a similar past: the both of us sucked in English and only improved after buckling up. What a coincidence, and how ironic: he's from a national school (sekolah kebangsaan) while me a chinese school. I guess he understands how much hardwork we needed to put in to achieve what we have now, which is just passable oral English and acceptable for written. 

 

Kok Hooi: He is basically the one who brought me to all these things about positions and power, school politics, and the importance of having perspectives and viewpoints and leadership. If it wasn't for him, I think today I'd be one of those people that only know about studies and nothing else, and lack and suck at co-curricular and social skills. I'm not saying that I'm an expert at those now, but at least I have some skills. Of course, not all parts of my achievements today depended on him, but if I hadn't tag along him here and there during the years when I was in lower secondary and was totally innocent and naive, I wouldn't what I have today. I should say 'thank you', but at this point, verbal gratitude is not enough as repayment.

 

I choose to only list the 'functions' of four people, but that doesn't mean the others are just plain acquaintances that brings no influence to me. It's just that the effects they bring onto me are hard to explain. But they have their effects; they do spread their auras.

 

Of course, there were downsides also last year, but compared to the ups, the latter wins. The unfortunate events are no match to the good things that happened. Maybe I am just being optimistic? No, I'm not, because I could think of so many good things that happened but only a few bad things. So the year is concluded as a good year. Then again, the judgement is just according to me. I don't know how your year had been. How had been? Do you remember?